Schwinging Excellence

And so it seems that it shouldn’t be the Menteri, whose family got themselves a Gomen project with a RM250m loan (not grant, mind you) at 2% interest for a 30-year contract of something or the other regarding cows, who should answer and / or relinquish her post.

Or something like so as demanded by the ever pesky Opposition.

No Sir. As pointed out vehemently by several Ministers and a non-Minister, all is well with the NFC project.

Nope, it is the Auditor General's team who, sadly, mucked things up.

Imagine visiting a cow farm after a flooding. Of, course the conditions would be atrocious and things seem so, to use the now oft quoted phrase, in a mess.

Go read the multiple news reports – by Bernama to boot; the epitome of reporting correctness – in the Sun today.

See. See. See….. All is okay one.

Even the reported Condo purchase.

Hell, if I have some un-utilised multi million Ringgits stashed somewhere I’d put it to good use by investing in such a, urm, rental scheme which gives you a near 13% yield. Where can you get like good money like that outside of a Skim Cepat Kaya?

A RM30,000 guaranteed monthly rental is darn great especially in this supposedly (alleged?) softening of the luxury property market period.

As to the so called alleged conflict of interest, urm, what conflict; what and whose interests’ conflicts?

As said, the Minister is not INVOLVED at all in the NFC thingy. Not a wee bit. No conflict. See. See.

Aiseyman! Methinks the AG’s team should really do a better job for next year’s AGR.

In the meantime, and as always in this great land of ours, all is forever well.

Gempita Tika

Jajahnya luas tidak terlangkau pandangan akan hujungnya
Hujung yang juga titik punca pagi tiba dan senja menghilang
Hijau yang bercampur aduk kuning, biru dan jingga
Di suatu sudut sekawan lembu tampak terlena
Menumpang redup pepohon yang tunggal setia

Disebelah besi yang tercacak menongkah awan
Berdiri di kakinya but tinggi mencicah lumpur
Seorang mandor? Atau Super?
Sebelah tangan mencekak pinggang,
Yang bebas sibuk mengibas
Menyilat unggas unggas yang membingit rimas

Kelihatannya mencari sesuatu
Tolehannya perlahan kiri kanan mengeluh
Mata tidak mengerjip barang sewaktu
Teropong tergalas belum tersentuh
Agaknya apa kata dirinya
Meyelam keindahan hadiah yang Esa.

Sayangnya bising laguan memecah bicara sendu suasana
Tersentak si mandor Super lantas tangan pantas menggagau
Mencapai handphone, di poket kiri hitam warnanya
“Saya..Saya…” jawabnya kepada sipemanggil bersuara garau
Entah apa yang dikata, apa pula yang dikota

Tamat panggilan,
si lelaki kurus tinggi mendengus keras
Serabut tampak hatinya
alat di tangan seperti hendak dihempas
“Kerja gila!!” bentaknya bersuara
Berkerut bibirnya menjuih seperti benci akan kerja
Yang bakal datang tiba

Datang si burung pipit terbang menyinggah sebentar cuma
Sang mandor yang geram gempita tercuit sedar
Terpancar lembut kalimah suci dari jiwa tercalar
Mengangguk akur nikmat diterima walau sekadar masa
Meliuk pergi bagai sejuk angin menggigit kulit terbuka

Berdiri kembali memandang padang saujana
Di bibirnya senyuman terukir tanpa paksa
Bising pipit dibiar berkala
Entah esok lusa mungkin tiada...

Amazing Simply aka D'oh Rib Ticklers

Amazing, surely.

Going by some Ministerial, Departmental and Agencial(?) pronouncements made over the last few days following the Auditor General’s revelations of financial, urm, miscrepancies (heh!), Tan Sri Ambrin had better get his crew sorted out as they apparently got did not do such a bang up job.

The so-called mismanagement of public funding in supposedly exorbitant procurements giving margins even Kedai 1Malaysia can’t discount for, below board directly negotiated deals, freebies and et cetera are explainable after all.

The latest: “Of that total, 5,742 were slaughtered up to November 2010. Therefore, the target of 8,000 cattle by 2010 was met. It is a success.”

Or this days-old one: “So we admit that the report is true, but we did not overspend. In fact our promotion budget was the lowest in 2009 and 2010, but the amount of direct [negotiations were] higher because we wanted to go right on and get as much value for money as possible.”

See, Tan Sri. Your Audit boys and girls muffed up in their auditing of the Public fund expenditures.

All is either well, explainable or accounted for. EPF non-gomen guaranteed RM55bil loan, Giatmara's sweet decimal mistake, racehorses that don’t race.

Wait. Have the Malaysian Marine Parks Department explained their hefty purchases?

No? Perhaps the higheesh price tags are due to maintenance fees being thrown in.

That’s it. All the man hours needed the service the binoculars and other items post purchase must surely needs to accounted for, don't they?

Something like the good money we paid for the two submarines, lah.

Of no particular relevance to the above posting, I am now reminded of one Harry Hoo, a side character from the campy TV show, Get Smart who goes around saying: "Amazing.." whenever Smart makes his, urm, smart deductions.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Say it Harry Hoo style, please.