Jallopying Jallowacks

I chanced upon this one yesterday but decided to wait till today to see if the headline comes out different.

Nope. Nothing of that sort happened, so here we are with NST’s report headlined:

“Five anti-gay activists charged”.

Admit it; the headline just sort of jumped out on you and begs to be read further, which was exactly what I did to find the following:

Five activists of the anti-lesbian gay bisexual transgender movement were charged at the magistrate's court here, yesterday under the Minor Offences Act 1955 with putting up certain posters.

"They were said to have put up, at a public space, posters with pictures and words such as "Lim Guan Eng Racist", "Lim Guan Eng Anti Melayu", "Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans" and "Undi Ambiga Undi Seks Bebas"."

Ah so anti climatic.

Am very curious, though, as to where NST found the anti-gay activism connection for the five accused as nothing was mentioned within the news article.

Note too that the second line reads “anti lesbian gay bla bla bla” but I supposed anti gay is so more, urm, current and newsworthy these days.

Inserting the phrase makes the most ordinary of lackeys into something more passionately heroic in the eyes of some.

Conspicuously missing also was any mention that the posters also included national laureate Datuk A. Samad Said as reported earlier.

Wonder why.

Could well be the way the charge sheet read.

Anyway, applause, applause, to NST for such a creative selling of what would have otherwise been a mundane piece of court news, I must say.

Hey, is that Bonnie Tyler I hear in the back of my mind?

Riotus Statisticus

As sweeping statements go, this one uttered in Parliament and published for the news reading public surely tops everything else.

"A study has found that, right now, three out of 10 men in Malaysia are gay. This is scary," he said when debating the motion of thanks for the royal address at the Dewan Rakyat sitting today.

Attributed by Bernama to YB Baharum Mohamad (BN, Sekijang) in a news piece about the call to “establish a homosexual rehabilitation centre to prevent same-sex relationships from getting rampant in the country.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this piece of statistical extravaganza.

And just how did the study extrapolate this particular ratio? By asking people: Are you gay? What about you? Perhaps You, Then?

Or perhaps it was by way of a survey:
Please tick your sexual preference – Gay, Not Gay, Wishy Washy Unsure, Don’t Care, Don’t Know.

How about some simple maths: Take the number of male Representative in Parliament and divide that by three; so some 67 of them are gays going by the so called finding.

Or the whole country: Around 14.2 million men in Malaysia, so some 4.7 million are gays.

I have to agree, THAT IS one huge figure.

And note that the key word here is men: females with same sex preferences are not included so the figure for rehab would balloon even more.

Good business, though, if you can get in: Billions of Ringgit in contracts, surely, for food, lodgings, admin stuff, the works…. PLKN-styled camps, maybe?

Am more curious as to why Bernama pick this, urm, piece of news up?

Scoring political brownie points? Highlighting the inane in our Parliamentary proceedings? Providing some LOL reading moments for its readers? Why?

At least, Bernama could have given us the background of this so-called study and its scope.

Here I was thinking of posting something about Marvel’s second run of the X-team’s Age of Apocalypse miniseries and my missing out on “The Siege” as well as “Fear Itself”, fed up with the unending run of Malaysian politics.

As it is and going by the news headlines of the MSM of late, the 13th General Election must be really, really close.

Can you smell what Jormungand is cooking?

Wonky Discourse

The on-going RCI on the death of the late Teoh Beng Hock has taken interesting turns of late.

Initially, it looked as though the RCI was turning into a farce with allegations of corrupt practices re-bandied again on Seri Kembangan assemblyman Ean Yong.

Suddenly, cans of worms – maggots? – began to open at regular intervals from the wanking - sorry, watching - of porn whilst a witness was in interrogation, rewriting of records, outright lies to cover your boss’ ass orders.

Wow.

Then again, while all this makes for the kind of head-shaking, goodnessgracious, whatthehell ecstatic reading, I do realized that in the end, not much while come out of the whole exercise.

Probably there will be a Paper (white, blue, flowery pinkish base?) on things: how to pick future staff, safe interrogation practices, guidelines on following orders, how to cheat and get away with it et cetera.

Those guilty of anything (lying is technically not one unless you’re an obstruction to justice and here in Malaysia, this topic warrants Tolkien-length discourse) will probably be suspended or transferred or something.

BUT are we closer to the truth?

Nope. Sure doesn’t look that way.

There are insinuations at most, which is far from even the balance of probability level of evidence required in civil proceedings, much less the beyond reasonable doubt vis-à-vis criminal ones.

Maybe the panel forming the RCI can find a coherent straw from the mish mash of information and misinformation, but it sure seemed that the truth passed along with the deceased that fateful day in July 2009.

It was the same open ended ending in the Sarawak Department of Environment (DOE) investigating officer Rumie Azzan’s case, wasn’t it?

All these (not the tragic death but the ecstasy of disclosures of something-rotten-in the-closet and the surety of its blanky (got ahh, this word?) aftermath) is highly reminiscent of something.

Now, what could that be?

PS:
Should we be reading so much into the postponement of the RCI of one day? Again, insinuations here especially in the light of self-damning responses from MACC's own officers.

NST reported the postponement coming as "much to the surprise of reporters and several witnesses who turned up", quoting spokesperson, while Bernama cited "all witnesses for the week had testified".

Fish sold by katis
Veges goes by ikats
Witnesses for RCIs
Goes by weekly batches

Wah Lau Snips

I wonder who wrote this gem of a lead paragraph in today’s NST online:

“Makkal Sakthi (People Power), which was instrumental in turning the tide against Barisan Nasional in Perak in last year's elections, has suddenly come out in support of the BN state government.”

Whoever it was managed to capture my attention enough to continue scrolling down the “news” piece to see exactly the justification for such findings.

Turned out this "Makkal Sakthi" refers to two blokes and some odd 30 people who profess their support to the controversially installed BN Perak State government.

Ahh…

Unbelievable that NST’s news editors let this one go.

The headline ("Makkal Sakhti" speaks up for BN) and its subsequent lead suggests image of thousands turning out in public wearing tee-shirts with Dr Zambry’s mug and carrying banners shouting “Long live Barisan!”.

Or some shit likewise.

Not 30-odd people at the plush confines of the Menteri Besar office.

(Of course, unlike the Makkal Sakhti showcase of old this bunch would NOT have to face a brace of baton-carrying anti riot troopers and water cannons.)

Perhaps it was a really dry day* for Perak for this piece to have seen “online” print.

Or perhaps it was a tongue-in-cheek news to lightens up NST readers?

There are, after all, apostrophe signs in the headlined "Makkal Sakhti" and there is also these cute verbatim quotes:

"We were not paid to do so. We did it freely. The report on a blog which said we were paid between RM10 and RM50 and provided with T-shirts to show our support to BN is untrue.

"We are businessmen and we pay our workers RM70 a day."

Huh???

Makkal Sakhti was the battle cry for a community which felt itself long marginalized.

Yes it is true that there is (or more correctly, will be) a political entity going by the same name, but to equate the two as one is quite incredulous.

On hindsight, I shouldn’t have bothered with the “news” after all.

Now, that would be Makkal Sakhti.

* Dry days: Days without any worthy printable story. No accident, no crime, no politicans trying to make some headlines, no NGO PCs. No jack-shit dry days provide real tests of patience for newsmen, especially those in the state with the Editor's Desk due to call sometime during lunch for a synopsis of non-existant news. A bummer of day.

Metaphoric Simile

I find it most perplexing that the government is not taking clear decisive action over the PKFZ scandal especially since it involves public funding.

There were allegations of fraud and conflict of interests, and yet to date, all the personalities concerned are still running around pretty.

Not even a Mareva Injunction (freezing of assets).

Big Fat Nothing.

Nada. Yilek. Nahi. Jack Shit.

What gives?

The accused parties (of course they are innocent until proven guilty – and when will such proceedings take place is anyone’s guess really) are happily trading challenges with the Port Klang Authority and the Transport Minister himself.

It is as if the latter is all alone in running the gauntlet.

Yes, it’s true that the Parliamentary Account Committee is also in the thick of action, but really, it is somewhat duplicating everything that has transpired between then and now on the scandal.

The highest authoritative, administrative body in the land has done but a single thing: giving the green light to the release the first PKFZ report.

That was last May and the saga dubbed “never ending” by The Edge continues with no end in sight.

Let’s not start on MACC. Please.

The money involved is not chicken feed.

Why isn’t there any sense of urgency?

Wallowing is good in making a damn great soup, but far too much of it would breed maggots.

(I know it’s a crappy simile, but what the heck.)

Had PKA been a private entity, we (as in the people) would not give Jack Shit on whatever Capex deals it goes into.

Impunity is a good word to learn here.

On the side, the National news agency has managed a few gems in news snippets these few days.

The last was on H1N1, masturbation and homosexual activities.

Today it’s something on Bollywood heartthrob, and one of Malacca’s favorite son, Shah Rukh Khan, and the state Chief Minister.

Here’s what the latter was quoted as having said:
"He (Khan) has a lot of experience in acting and movie production. He has given us his blessings, I hope he can give lectures and share his knowledge with us," added Mohd Rustam."

Do read the above in the context of “establishing a film studio in Malacca to develop talents for the Malaysian movie industry” and agreeing “to do one or two shoots for his new movie Happy New Year in Malacca later this year.”

Khan apparently hosted “special dinner at his residence in posh Banjara Hills in Mumbai” for Mohd Rustam.

There’s more:
“He served the best Indian cuisine including briyani and thosai. I must say Malaysian (food) tasted 20% less good than original Indian food."

Didn’t know taste is quantifiable.

All the same, there seem to be some good measure of reverence to the Khan at play here from both the quotee (heh) and the one doing the news.

Lost in translation, perhaps?

All the same, thank you for the smile, Bernama.

Bollywood heartthrob, Shahrukh Khan